Finding the Perfect Mate
Are you on a quest for the perfect mate and just haven’t found him/her yet? The dating world is tricky and there are many dynamics that go into a new relationship. Check out the following article posted by Jen Kim on Psychology Today:
Why Didn’t He Call gives us an inside look into the do’s and don’ts of dating. A first date is both anxiety-provoking and exciting. With the mix of emotions it can be hard to remember to be yourself! After all, you are about to spend some one on one time with a stranger! Jessica Kay, a matchmaker with 18 years experience, gives tips and ideas on how to approach dating.
Kay talks about putting too much pressure on both yourself, your partner and the date. She explains that this trait is commonly found in females. If you portray that pressure to your date, it may scare them off. She recommends going into the date with the intention to make a new friend, not find the person you will marry. This can bring a more relaxed environment to the date and help you connect.
On the flip side, Kay talks about the problems males bring into the dating world; focus on physical attraction and not on personality fit. She encourages her male clients to focus on parts of the woman’s personality they are attracted to and capitalize on those. Kay breaks down biological differences stating that females are wired to find their life partner where as men are visual and physically driven. These biological components can hinder success in the dating world.
Kay’s most encouraging piece of advice is to go into your first date looking to make a new friend. If you reflect back on the “Smell the Roses” entry where you were encouraged to immerse yourself in the here and now, you will see that Kay encourges the same mindset with dating. Have fun, be silly and be present!
Hopefully these tips can put your mind at ease when you go out on your next date!