Attachment Styles in Relationships
Did you know that the emotional bond you form with your caregivers early in life will lay the foundation for your adult love relationships? This is a profound statement that requires a journey backwards in time and reflection on some early relationships that many people chose to ignore.
How you attach to your caregivers will set the stage for your attachment styles in other relationships. Was your caregiver warm and responsive? Did they respond to you when you needed them and gave you proper space to figure things out on your own? This fosters a secure attachment style in relationships; you don’t worry about needing someone else to much nor do you fear abandonment. You experience the crucial components of happiness and trust and tend to be a part of enduring relationships.
Was your caregiver cold or rejecting? This means your caregiver pushed you away and was not responsive to your needs. This leads to an avoidant attachment; you may feel uncomfortable getting close to others or reject relationships all together so as to not jeopardize your independence. The emotional highs and lows of these relationships make it difficult for attachments to be long-lasting.
Was your caregiver inconsistent? Sometimes they were there for you, sometimes they were not. You know your caregiver definitely loved you but didn’t always show it in the best way. This leads to anxious attachment, sometimes you love the person you are with, sometimes you hate them. Attachments of this style are characterized by possessiveness and difficulty with trust. When the relationship is under distress, intense emotions and anger create tension in the attachment but an inability to let go.
All three attachment styles will indicate how comfortable you are with closeness in a relationship and the degree of anxiety you experience over abandonment. What is your attachment style? How has this style impacted your relationships?