At first thought, many consider distractibility and hyperactivity as the defining characteristics of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Demonstrating difficulties in sustaining concentration, being prone to anger and frustration, difficulty sitting still, significant disruptive behavior in most settings due to impulsivity, are the common hallmark symptoms of ADHD. However, there are other, less disruptive symptoms that are often overlooked or attributed to other motives.
An additional, less commonly talked about characteristic, is a difficulty in shifting attention as needed. This is often referred to as hyper-focus. Hyper-focus is demonstrated when a child (or adult) can become so focused on an activity that they are unable to shift attention appropriately as necessary, to another task, person, etc. This is most often seen when a child becomes engrossed for hours on end with a specific activity, such as Legos, reading, or a video game. This is not where it typically interferes with day to day life. In fact, depending on the activity, it can be seen as beneficial (i.e. most parents don’t complain about a child reading too much!).
When working with parents, a common concern/complaint expressed is when they feel their child is ignoring their requests. This is a common trait in many children. When I hear this from a parent, my first thought is to try to determine if there is a level of hyper-focus in action. Is the child “ignoring” their parent, or, is the child just engrossed in an activity to the detriment of being able to shift their attention when their parent is making a request? However, to be clear, this singular trait, in and of itself, does not solely indicate the presence of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in a child.
It is important to first get more information about the context of the situation(s).
Why ask these questions? They provide information to determine if there is an attentional issue at play, or if there is a behavioral issue to be addressed.
Where is the child relative to the parent? Are they in the same room? What is the distance?
Often times, parents or caregivers will make requests of a child from a separate room. The child will be in the living room or their bedroom and the parent will call from another room for the child to complete a task. For example, telling the child to take the garbage out. Ten minutes later, the parent is frustrated, if not angry, that the child has not completed the task. They make the request once more typically receiving an errant “I’m coming” from the child. Again, the garbage remains in the home rather than disposed of in the garbage bin. This cycle replays until the parent reaches peak frustration and enters the room enraged.
Is the child engaged in a task? Are they demonstrating that they are giving their full attention?
Children, particularly those with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, will fully immerse themselves in a task, to the exclusion of most other stimuli. Let’s say the task is an enjoyable one. The child is fully immersed in an activity such as watching a favorite television program or playing the latest video game (Fortnite anyone?). The child will unconsciously “tune out” intrusions into their attentional field, including their parent’s requests. A parent will be talking to their child and the response varies from no response, an automatic response to the prompt (i.e. “Yeah yeah, I’m coming”) or the tell-tale headshake– you know the one where they finally turn to you and pretend to pay attention?
So, the question is- What can you do? You are a parent who is desperately trying to teach your child responsibility by having them take the garbage out. There is hope! You have a few options:
2. Make sure that you have their sustained attention.
It is important to try to remember that this is a skill that you are helping them to learn. It is not an automatic, intrinsic ability with which we are born. Especially for those with identified attentional deficits. As with any skill, it will take time, patience, and perseverance, both on the part of the child, and on the part of you, the parent or caregiver. If this does not work, it may be necessary to speak with someone to help troubleshoot the procedure, explore additional options, and/or to address additional behavioral problems.
https://fvinstitute.com/attention-deficits-living-with-add-and-adhd
https://fvinstitute.com/a-regular-checkup-is-good-for-the-mind-as-well-as-the-body/
https://fvinstitute.com/are-selfies-a-sign-of-a-mental-disorder/
https://fvinstitute.com/dependent-personality-disorder-diagnosis-and-treatment/
https://fvinstitute.com/highly-sensitive-people-strengths/