How to Deepen Your Connection with your Partner


Are you looking for ways to feel closer to your partner?  Intimacy between you and your partner is critical to keeping the bonds strong.  It is always important to determine what may be causing the disconnect between you two and try to problem-solve around that issue as well.  There are various reasons that can lead to a disconnect but many couples get ‘stuck in a rut’ and simply forget or lose sight of what makes them feel close to one another. 

Intimacy is the feeling of being close to another and a sense of belonging together.  Sustaining intimacy for a length of time requires both emotional and interpersonal awareness.  Partners need to be able to exist both separate and together as participants in their intimate relationship.

It is important to know that intimacy in your relationship will naturally go through stages.  There is no set course for these stages but it may be helpful to identify where you feel you may fall.

  • Infatuation– the “I just met the love of my life” stage.  Infatuation will ebb and flow during this stage but you may find that you just cannot get enough of each other.
  • Landing– the “oh no, who did I marry?” stage.  Landing is when infatuation lifts and clarity of every day living comes in.  Landing can feel turbulent and at times glide smoothly but, at the end of the day, you come home to one another.
  • Burying– the “did I even see you yesterday, I don’t remember?” stage.  Burying is when the business of life takes over; kids, laundry, jobs, endless to do lists, home care, etc.  Burying is good in that you are reminded your relationship is real but you will need to take some time to try to unbury and let intimacy resurface.
  • Resurfacing– the “wow I forgot how much I love you! “ stage- in this stage your relationship can get a ‘jolt’ or ‘reality check’ that brings it back to life and makes it a priority again.  Resurfacing allows you to resolve to one another to build closeness again.
  • Love- the “I love you more then I every thought I could” stage- it is in this stage partners typically realize ‘how good they have it’ and ride the wave of love together.

Making a relationship work means just that, doing the ongoing work your relationship will demand. 

The following are some tips to enhance closeness between you and your partner:

  1. Set goals together– no matter what the goal, working together as a team can strengthen love and closeness.
  2. Put the stuff away– technology, toys, television, etc.  take some time to just be with one another instead of always having a third ‘person’ hanging out with you and your partner.  This would give you both the opportunity to look at one another while having a discussion, what a great way to strength connection by looking into your partner’s eyes.
  3. Create a new tradition or rehab the old one- is there something that both always loved doing together that you can start back up again? Or perhaps a new tradition you can create together?
  4. Be spiritual together– praying or meditating together is an excellent way to build closeness.
  5. Check in with each other every day– make this a party of your daily schedule.
  6. Have a bed time routine you can stick to– this is especially helpful with children.  Once you put the kids to bed set a routine that works for you both where you can build closeness.
  7. Have a date night– just you two giving focused attention to one another can be a great way to feel close and have fun!
  8. Look for the best– do not speak bad about your partner; find a way to focus on their strengths rather then their weakness.

And do not forget, you can go to therapy together!  Do not hesitate to utilize the resource of having an objective person helping you both learn to communicate better, sort through the cause to the disconnect and determine how to build closeness again.

Psychiatry Services Now Available at FVI!


Girl relaxing in a wheat-field.

Fox Valley Institute is very excited to offer an innovative new service for all of our psychiatry appointments.

Telepsychiatry provides easy access in a timely manner with licensed child and adult psychiatrists. This eliminates long wait times and helps patients receive the care they need when they need it.

This is a transformative time for the useful application of technology with therapy. The use of video technology is the way psychiatrists are now conducting sessions in order to promptly and efficiently meet the needs of patients.

The video appointment is conducted over a large format TV/computer monitor on a secure, HIPPA compliant network. Patients tell us it feels like everyone is in the same room with life size viewing.

Telepsychiatry benefits:

  • Easy access to licensed child and adult psychiatrists
  • Much shorter wait time
  • Accessibility – psychiatric appointments onsite at Fox Valley Institute in a comfortable and warm setting
  • Excellent coordination of care between therapist and psychiatrist
  • HSA and FSA eligible. Please verify insurance.

Referrals are welcome. Our doctors specialize in adult and child/adolescent psychiatric care.

Fox Valley Institute’s Telepsychiatry service is available for appointments now. Please call 630-718-0717 ext. 214 or email


What does a Psychiatrist do Anyway?

Psychiatry is a branch of medicine that focuses on the symptoms, diagnoses, treatment and prevention of emotional, psychological and behavior disorders.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor/physician (M.D.) who specializes in one’s psychological health, including substance use and disorders. Psychiatrists are trained in the medical, psychological, and social components of mental, emotional, and behavioral disorders.  They utilize a broad range of treatment modalities, including diagnostic tests, prescribing medications, psychotherapy, and helping individuals and their families cope with challenges, stress and crises.

Many seek psychiatric help for a variety of reasons. The issue could be sudden, such as a panic attack, anxiety, recent trauma, a particular fear, or loss. Others may seek help for more long-term concerns, such as depression, PTSD, substance abuse, eating disorders, bi-poplar, grief or mood disorders.

It is important for a psychiatrist to take a holistic approach. This approach includes talking about nutrition, exercise, sleep, relationships, support systems, and different stressors of life. The information provided helps the psychiatrist make an informed assessment and a proper evaluation.

Our psychiatrists demonstrate humility when speaking with individuals in their care, which creates collaboration and a healthy partnership.  This will produce success in the individual’s emotional, psychological and behavioral well-being.

Our psychiatrists will really listen to the individual(s) in their care, convey authentic concern, and be respectful.  Fox Valley Institute’s focus is to help individuals address their challenges, grow and live to their fullest potential.

How to Prepare for an Appointment with the Psychiatrist

  • Call or email our office for an appointment.
  • Make a list of all the medications you are currently taking – name and dosage amount; as well as any other medications you have tried in the past.
  • Make a list of the symptoms you are experiencing and when they first started.
  • Note your sleep and eating patterns.
  • Bring any family medical and mental history.
  • Write down any questions you would like to ask the doctor.
  • Most importantly – be honest with the psychiatrist. They can only work with the information you provide them.